Our Sex Lives & Being Free

Our Sex Lives & Being Free

What is normal when it comes to sex?  We're all aware of the array of fetishes out there, and most of us are either repulsed or paralyzed by fear when it comes to crossing various boundaries.

Our Passion Project takes a look at a few perspectives on sexual freedom.

1. Experimentation is not just OK, it's great

The old cliche "if you don't try, you'll never know".  And it's never been truer than when it comes to sex.  Some sexual practices may challenge your moral boundaries and that's absolutely fine - don't do it then.  

But how can you have a strong viewpoint that anal sex isn't for you?  Or that BDSM is not your thing?  Some experimentation can happen in the safest possible environment: you alone, at home, exploring your body.  Other experimentation would need a partner (or partners depending on what you're trying) and this will need deep trust and mutual respect.

Bottom line: there's nothing wrong with stretching your boundaries, exploring your body and yourself, and discovering new frontiers of sexual pleasure.

2. Who decided what "normal" looks like?

The Ancient Greeks celebrated all forms of love - bi-sexual encounters were the order of the day and masturbation was celebrated and encouraged.  Somewhere along the line, cultural taboos took hold and began to give us a restrictive framework of "normal sex".

Even Julius Caesar is said to have been a cross-dresser at the age of 20, and he was known (behind his back) as “every woman’s man and every man’s woman”.

You're the only one who needs to decide what your normal looks like.

3. Your duty in this life is to love yourself first.

Sexual satisfaction (and in fact all forms of self-satisfaction) begins with you being completely at ease with yourself and your needs.  You are you.  Don't be afraid of taking pleasure, and when you can reach that point of comfort you'll be a better lover for it.  Express yourself, say what you need, and unashamedly pursue sexual satisfaction.

4. Sexual freedom is liberating

Once you are able to freely express yourself without guilt or fear of judgement, you'll enjoy an overwhelming sense of liberation and self-expression.  If you're enjoying sex with a partner that is free and expressive, it's incredibly satisfying to know that they are sharing all their desires and needs and that you're in a position to help.

5. What is satisfaction?

We all define sexual satisfaction in many ways.  Many of us would dismiss a sexual practice as "not for us" or "going too far".  But what if it brought your partner the ultimate joy?  Sexual satisfaction is about pleasing ourselves, but also about pleasing our partners and celebrating each other.  Perhaps next time before you say "no", consider what a sexual act would do for your partner(s) and how that would make them feel.  Selfless giving can be the ultimate satisfaction.